I was originally going to write this Monday night, but I'm glad I didn't. Mondays are long days, with Jack in therapy from 8-5. He gets 15 minute breaks for every hour of therapy but it's still a very, very long day. He spent it on a roller-coaster, up and down all day with the low points consisting of hitting his therapists, throwing his chair, and pushing over his table. For those of you that are close to Jack, you know this is NOT typical behavior for him. Still, I spent most of the day in tears. And I wondered....
"Who IS Jack?"
"How did we get here?"
"What did I do wrong?"
"How do I help him?"
"What happened to my happy, chirpy little Jack?"
"What does this mean for Jack's future?"
I think I had a crying hangover. Being an alcoholic amateur, I have nothing to compare it to - but my face felt like it was going to fall off, I had a headache, and my eyes burned all day. Thankfully, he is in capable hands and the day did not end badly. Later, I took Jack for a ride in which he told me he "had a hard day." TO SAY THE LEAST!!! While riding around, he told me that he lives in Green Bay, he's 4, he's good, and that Green Bay has lots and lots of cars, a blue bus, and an orange truck. At least he was learning something in between all the fits!!
Tuesday was definitely a new day. He had therapists with him from 8-3:30 and he cooperated, played and learned like he usually does. When I came home he said, "You're so cute, Mommy." I think that's his way of saying, 'I like you.' I don't usually see much of what he does during the day, but I was able to watch a therapist teach him something new today. It was a good reminder that although Monday was exceptionally difficult, this process is worth whatever trouble we go through. Someone once asked me, "What is God's vision for Jack?" Truthfully, I'm not sure yet ~ but sometimes it's good to remember that God has a plan for Jack.
Meanwhile, I think I'm going to buy this book with my Christmas money. http://www.amazon.com/Different-Adventures-Free-Range-Aspergian-Aspergians/dp/0307884813/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322061513&sr=8-1 The train on the cover seems symbolic of Jack's personality. I love it.